He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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