we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
