Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
