Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
