So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
