I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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