areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
