My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
