I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize