forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
