theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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