I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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