I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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