farters have to be the big spoon...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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