I wish i was in the wii world.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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