thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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