I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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