so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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