i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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