You can't motorboat a personality
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
