I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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