I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
