I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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