we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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