There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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