We're like a lot better than the average bears
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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