I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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