i just google imaged poop.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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