so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are leaves in my underwear?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
