So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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