what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
