Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
