get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
