Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
