Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
