i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
