I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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