youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
