And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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