I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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