Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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