So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
