Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize