Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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