It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
