How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
