I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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