Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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