Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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