just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
