it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
