I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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