was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
