No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
