He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
