I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize