In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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