Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
