I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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