I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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