I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
