For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
