Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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