Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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