ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
