ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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