just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
this hospital has no fireball
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
