bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
